If I Could Help You Forget, Would You Take My Regrets?
by EvilRegalMarie
Summary: After Emma brings back Robin's lost love and crushes Regina, will her true feelings come out and save the Queen from another broken heart? This is my rendition of how Season 4 should begin. This is pure SwanQueen, so please do not continue if this ship isn't something you are a fan of. :) Rated M for language and later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"You….You did this?" I felt Regina's glare shoot straight through my body as I watched her come undone. All I meant to do was save a life. I am the savior after all. That's what I'm supposed to do. She can't blame me for not knowing that this would hurt her. I just wanted to help. Everyone says not to change the past, but it's easier said than done when you're watching someone about to die. Time felt like it was frozen for a second and I could see the tears threatening to leave her eyes. Regina doesn't break often, and seeing her cry might be all it takes to make me lose it. I felt like I was going to collapse as the nerves started to kick in. This isn't the first or even tenth time she's been hurt, and this isn't the first time it's been my fault. I know that who she was in the past wasn't perfect, but I wasn't perfect either. I went to jail and gave my son up for adoption for Christ's sake. She and I are alike you know, both stemming from broken families, shattered lives and having to live with our regrets. I don't care what she's done as the Evil Queen, Regina doesn't deserve this and I don't know how to fix it. Not saying a word, she quickly grabbed her coat and walked out of Granny's. I had to go after her and I had to make this right. I don't think right now would be the best time to tell her the truth about how I feel, but if anything it might make her realize just how much I have her best interests at heart. The last thing I want is for her to think that I did this out of selfishness, just so I could try to have her for myself. If Robin made Regina happy, I would suffer in silence for her until I died. That's what true love is. I know I have it. It's real.

I haven't been able to shake these feelings for Regina since the first time I met her. Of course she was yelling at me and giving me empty threats, but my heart got this weird, racing feeling that sent shivers down my spine. Her attitude was likely off-putting to everyone else around her, but it drew me in. I've always needed someone like that. She's strong, she's sensual and she knows how to stand up for herself. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over her body as I stood on her porch; the way she dressed was driving me crazy. We obviously went through more bad times than good, but I had to put my son and his interests first. Now that we are working together, nothing can hold me back. I don't know if she's ever noticed me staring, but I've always tried to be discreet. Weeks went by and my crush for her got stronger, but I was always determined that my feelings would stay concealed. Regina was obviously straight and even if she wasn't, why would she have interest in the woman who came into her perfect Storybrooke life and fucked it all up?

I looked over at Robin, who was grinning from ear to ear and holding his wife and his son. He didn't seem to notice or care about Regina's quick disappearance. I guess I could understand him being preoccupied, but it's not like he didn't love Regina at all. She should still matter with or without Marian. He doesn't deserve her, and I swear I'm not just saying that. He has a bad attitude and knows nothing about how to properly treat a lady. It's not that I was jealous…okay maybe a little jealous. But still, I know that I could treat her and love her so much better. I understand her and I can fix her broken heart. I would never hurt her. Between her, Henry and I, Regina would finally have the perfect little family she's always wanted. I know that she loves him, I really do, but I also am promising that he's not as good for her as she thinks.

I ran out of the restaurant after grabbing my things and saying a quick goodbye to my parents and noticed that Regina's car was already gone. Fuck. I'm guessing she went back to her place, but it kind of sucks that she drove and I chose to walk here. It might slow me down a little bit, but I was determined to find her no matter what. I had to get to her. I had to hold her and tell her that I'm sorry. All of these thoughts of holding Regina weighed down my mind as I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head. 'This isn't going to happen Emma. Stop building yourself up.' Whatever trust Regina finally found in me was gone. Why should I expect her to grovel at my feet? 3 miles later and my chest hurt from running. Between the cold air and not stopping, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Exhaustion turned into nervousness as I stepped in front of the mayor's front door. Confessing your feelings to someone that probably wants to kill you right now isn't always an easy task. What if….what if she really was going to kill me? What if this is what it took to put her back on her evil path? I swallowed hard and knocked on the door in a state of absolute terror. 30 seconds, no answer. One more knock and there was still no sign of Regina. A part of me wanted to run, but another part of me knew that I couldn't. Her car was here and the light on the second floor told me that she was here too. It may be rude to just barge into someone else's house, but I didn't care.

"Regina!?", I called out, opening her door and walking slowly into the dining room. No sign of her downstairs and that could only mean one thing. "Regina? Please just let me know that you're here!" I quickly ran up the steps and stopped in the doorway to her bedroom. Regina was laying on her bed, face down and sobbing. My heart was absolutely breaking at this point and I could feel the tears start to burn in the corners of my eyes.

"Regina….", I said as softly as I could. Her head snapped up at me and for a second I almost expected her to get up and knock me out.

"Emma. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!", she screamed, sitting up and turning her stature from heartbroken to murderous. And that was all I could take.


	2. Chapter 2

All of the tears that have been building up behind my eyes were finally let loose. Regina has never really seen me cry; not like this. I've always liked to put on the act that I was tough and in control of my emotions at all times. I was in jail. I'm the sherif. I'm supposed to always be calm and hard as stone. I've learned that hiding behind a thick outer shell makes you less vulnerable, but when it comes to Regina I just feel out of control. She wanted me to leave and I knew that, but I couldn't seem to get myself to go. I couldn't forgive myself if I left right now. She may be angry, but she can't really want that right? As scared as I was, deep down I knew she wasn't going to hurt me. I don't know why I ever even doubted that. We've come too far. This can't end this way. With sadness freely rushing down my face, I walked across the room and sat down on the edge of the queen-sized bed. Just inches away from her, I expected her to scream again; I expected her to push me away but she didn't. Her face went from angry to crushed as she placed her head on my shoulder, burying her face in my chest. "Emma…." she mumbled under her breath. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me as tight as I could, and she did not even try to pull back. I could feel her body shaking as she cried; we were crying together and I don't know if this was the best or worst moment of my life. I was finally able to comfort the woman who I loved more than anything in her time of need, but I was the one who was causing her so much pain. All I could do as I held her was think about how I'm not good at anything but hurting people. I came back into her life and caused her problem after problem in Storybrooke. I tried to take Henry away from her completely. For a second I even blamed her for killing someone she didn't even hurt and now this. I love her and I'm ruining her life.

We didn't exchange words and that was okay. I had absolutely nothing to say to her; I've already done enough. All I wanted to do was let her cry and support her the best way I knew how. What seemed like hours went by as Regina's crying turned into soft breathing and light snoring. Her head never moved from my shoulder as she fell into a deep, exhausted sleep. The moment couldn't have been more upsetting but yet I found a small smile form across my face. She looked so peaceful as she slept, so untouchable and pure. As carefully as I could, I lifted her up slowly and laid her down on her bed. This is the moment where I should have been leaving. I should have walked out of that house and called her later to ask if she was okay, but I'd be damned if I was going anywhere. I kicked off my boots and laid down next to her, brushing my hand along her cheek as lightly as I could. She felt so warm; so flushed and in pain. I felt my phone vibrate with the notification of a text message in my pocket. I can only imagine who that could be.

'_Em, we are worried about you. Please let us know you're okay. -David"_

_"__I'm fine. At Regina's right now. Everything's okay. I'll be home later."_

I turned my phone off and quietly tossed it on the floor next to my boots. I love my family dearly, but interruptions weren't something I needed right now. My eyes went back to being locked on Regina and I couldn't stop myself from staring. Her eyes were absolutely beautiful even as they were closed. She had the cutest little nose and glowing skin. Everything about her was literally perfect. Her body, her face and those lips….they were just so…

I ended up stopping myself less than an inch away from her face. Am I about to go as far as kissing Regina Mills on the lips when she wasn't even awake to say no? Within seconds I threw all of my reasoning out of the window. My lips met hers as I left a small, caring kiss on her lips. The moment I retreated, the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering so quickly I thought I was going to throw up. For the next few seconds I watched Regina in fear, wondering if she was about to wake up and realize what just happened. She squirmed lightly in her sleep, a smile spreading across her face as if she was having a happy dream. I smiled down at her, wondering what could be going through her tired mind right now. Was it me or was it him? This was my moment of perfection. I would do absolutely anything to wake up like this every morning. I promise if she gave me a chance, I would kiss her as often as she wanted. I'd never stop if she wanted. I just wanted to touch her in a way that makes all of her pain go away. I want my love to heal her.

"Emma…" Regina stirred as she looked up at me. Her face was a mixture between confused and relieved at my presence. Here's that feeling of wanting to run again. Her next move is always so unpredictable that it keeps my emotions on edge. She looked frail and fragile. Her eyes were bright red and sunken back into her skull; her complexion paled and she looked as white as a ghost. The little voice in my head that kept telling me it was all my fault wouldn't shut up and I wanted to hit my subconsciousness with a baseball bat. She looked like she wanted to cry again, but I don't think there was enough energy left in her. Her eyes watered as she rubbed them gently, most likely fighting off the pain from constant crying. I just want to talk but I can't find the right words when i'm around her. I always end up saying the wrong thing or making an idiot out of myself and pushing her even further away.

"How are you feeling hun?", I finally managed to get out. Regina raised an eyebrow at me and stared in silence. Maybe I shouldn't have asked, or maybe I should have just left out the pet name. One sentence in and I was already kicking myself in the ass.

"I'm….." She tried to sit up as physical exhaustion set in and knocked her back down. "I just need to lie down. You can go now. I'm fine." I knew that she was lying about being okay, but I wasn't sure how much she actually wanted me to leave. Was she really still asleep during the kiss or was she just pretending? The anxiety kept coming back in waves as all of these thoughts crashed against my brain. I can't go one more second without telling her how I feel. If I don't do it now, I never will. This couldn't be a better opportunity. I fought off the nervousness and stared directly into her beautiful eyes.

"Regina, we need to talk. Well, I need to talk to you, and it can't wait."

"Emma, I'm sure whatever it is, it ca-"

"I love you." My voice cracked at those words and I didn't realize how close to hysterics I was. There, I fucking said it. I just confessed my love for Regina Mills. To her face. To the mayor who wanted nothing more than for me to die. To the woman who tried to poison me because she hated me so much. To the woman who stole my heart and allowed me to bring out the small amount of warmness still left in her heart. To the woman who learned to tolerate me.

Regina looked absolutely terrified. Not disgusted but terrified. We just stared at each other for what felt like years and finally I couldn't shake the nervousness any longer. I was either going to puke or pass out and I didn't need either one of those things happening in Regina's room. I rose to my feet quickly and went to grab my shoes and run out of the door when I felt her grab my hand. Using my arm to support herself, she stood herself up, looked into my eyes and began to kiss me as hard as she possibly could. Whatever pain and frustration she was feeling right now was being put into this passionate move of affection. I closed my eyes as our bodies drew closer and I could taste her lips. I will be Regina's happy ending, so long as she gives me the chance.


	3. Chapter 3

My nervousness and the butterflies in my stomach flew out of the window at the speed of light. Here I was, gaining everything that I've always wanted; the life I've always wanted. I was living a moment that I thought would forever be a dream. This was better than dreaming; better than sleep. My hands found Regina's hips as I drew her as close to me as possible, our kiss turning from shy to passionate. My lust and sexual need started to kick in, but I fought with my mind on whether or not I should make another move. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to go too far, but I don't want to stop. I tried not to think about the fact that she may only be acting in lust due to losing the love of her life, but I tried not to bring myself down with these ideas. All I cared about at that moment was having her. Even if it wasn't going to last, this is something that will cause me to later die with a smile on my face. A minute went by and Regina pulled away, placing her hands on my shoulders in unsteadiness and staring at me in awe. I wondered if she was shocked at her own action or surprised at mine.

An overwhelming urge to speak coated me. I don't know what to say, but I don't want her to leave. I don't want her to change her mind or think that I'm doing this for the wrong reason. The fear of losing Regina Mills is something that is literally starting to drive me insane. I've never talked to myself or questioned myself so often, I really was starting to think I was going to have an emotional breakdown. This roller-coaster of emotions was only half expected and I was having trouble adjusting to the ride.

"Regina please", I started, the shakiness already setting in after two words. "I don't want you to think that I...that I brought her back for this. I didn't know. I really didn't know. I would have been quiet until the end of time just to see you smile. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. I don't know how else I could possibly make it up to you, but I'm so sorry. I did a horrible thing and I know that all I seem to do is hurt people, especially you. I've made so many mistakes with you, and I'm not about to make another one. The truth will always be the truth though. I love you Regina. I am absolutely in love with you. I haven't been able to shake the thought of you since we first met. I haven't been able to sleep at night because I think of you. I will do anything I can to make you happy, I promise. You and Henry and I can be the family that you've always wanted, and I will always protect you." Regina's undecided expression turned into a small, honest smile.

"You know Emma. For a second I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel the pain that you were making me feel. I didn't want to live anymore. I was hurt so many times that this was a breaking point for me. I left Granny's and got in my car with the idea that I wasn't going to wake up tomorrow." The older woman walked over to a locked closet and after digging through the bottom, came back with a small box. Inside the box was a needle filled with a liquid that was unknown to me. My eyes widened at the thought that I could have been too late to save her. It really could have been all my fault. My heart raced faster as I looked down. I didn't want to think about it.

"This contains the same sleeping potion that I put on your mother at one time. If I would have put myself to sleep, I would have been asleep forever. The only way to break this sleeping curse, as you know, is true love's kiss. Because I assumed no one could ever really love me, that was the last thing I was worried about. I was ready to die. I felt like I lost everything. But now because of this...now that you're here..." Regina's voice trailed off as she snapped the syringe in half, tossing it in the trash can in the corner of the room. I watched as she took off her sweater, revealing a tight-fitting camisole. She looked hot as hell, and I couldn't resist. It appeared to me that I wouldn't be the one who had to make the next move after all. I took a step back as Regina pinned me against the wall behind us, running her fingers down my face and giving me a look that made my legs start to feel weak. I could tell her strength was low, but her lust was winning the battle inside of her.

"But now that you're here Emma..."


	4. Chapter 4

It felt like it took hours until my phone finally turned on and restarted itself. My fingers shook around the buttons as I texted my parents. They were probably worried sick about me and I'm surprised they haven't showed up at Regina's doorstep armed with weapons yet. We've all made peace, but I can tell deep down that they don't trust her. I really can't blame them, but they don't know Regina like I do.

_I'm staying at Regina's tonight. I know it sounds crazy but everything's okay. I'll be fine and I'll explain everything in the morning. Don't worry about me._

I didn't know how much of this I was actually going to explain to them, but I'd worry about it when the time came. Regina said she had something she wanted to give me and she disappeared downstairs a little bit ago. I sat on her bed as she was gone and tried to pull myself together. I still couldn't breathe and I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest. My body was filled up with racing thoughts and an urge to pounce on Regina and show her what it feels like to be loved. All I wanted was to take her and push her down and just…_woah Emma, stop moving so fast, _I thought to myself. I do have some experience with handing other women sexually, but I didn't want to let Regina know that. I wanted to take this as slow as she needed it to go and I wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible. I had to control myself for her sake and I was willing to do that. Trying to get my mind off of my arousal, I continued to think to myself as I started to worry about what I would tell my parents. So much for waiting until the time came. If Regina and I did become an item, how was I going to tell them? How was I going to tell Henry? I know that they would love me no matter what happened, but Regina wasn't exactly their best friend. She did a lot to hurt them in the past and I don't know if they could find it in their hearts to accept this and completely forgive her.

"Emma?" Regina's voice interrupted. My thoughts broke short as I looked up at her; she's so beautiful I could hardly stand it. She was holding a bottle and two stacked glasses in her hands. "This is the best apple cider you'll ever taste. It's been aging for quite a while so it's strong as hell. I figured if we were going to have a good night, we my as well have a few good drinks." She sat down next to me and put the glasses on her night stand, pouring the cider almost to the brim on each. I took the glass and took a swig. She was right; best fucking cider I've ever tasted. For once in my life, I felt like I had nothing to worry about. Henry was safe with his grandparents, Regina and I were in the same room, the same bed together and I was in sheer bliss.

The hand on the clock swung around a few times as Regina and I talked and laughed. We were sharing everything with each other and the more she became intoxicated the more she came undone. I absolutely loved this side of her. I never thought I would be able to see this woman let loose and feel comfortable here with me. In the past, she's always been so well-reserved and proper. I didn't even know she could be this way and it was starting to drive me crazy. My head started to spin and I felt a familiar flutter-like feeling going through my body. I was a bit above your typical buzz, okay maybe a lot, and the alcohol was about to be the best excuse I had to get closer to Regina. I took the glass out of her hand and pushed her down, leaving soft kisses all over her neck and chest as her head hit her pillow. _Keep your cool Emma. Just take this slow, remember? _She let out a small moan of approval and wrapped her hands around my neck, drawing me closer and biting softly on my bottom lip. She's really testing my self control. We locked into another kiss, even better and more sensual than the last. Her lips tasted so sweet and so perfect, like a mixture between alcohol and peppermint. I wanted more right that second and I couldn't control my urges any longer. I let my hands wander as my fingers found the button on her pants, undoing them quickly and pulling them off. Again with her shirt and again with her bra, leaving nothing but her laced panties still on her body. Her skin was flawless and her curves were so articulate. I threw her clothes on the floor next to the bed as I took in her body. She was stunning.

"Mmmmm…Emma…pleaseeee….", Regina started to breathe faster as I ran my fingers down her stomach, stopping just before the line of her panties. Her voice was slurring and it was evident that she was drunk. She did mention earlier that she tends to get horny when she drinks, and I was definitely okay with that. I personally have always been quite the tease and I wasn't about to give her everything she was longing for right away. When it came to women, I found it was best to make them work for what they wanted. I want to get her to the point where she absolutely needed me. I gently stroked her breasts and stomach up and down in light motions, each time stopping at the same place I had before. Each touch seemed to arouse her far beyond her limit as she squirmed underneath me. A small whimper escaped her lips and it felt like music to my ears. I could feel a throbbing wetness between my own legs as I did everything I could to pleasure her. I could sense her building sexual frustration as I pulled off her laced thong, tossing them with the rest of her clothes in a heap on the floor. Good god I have her just where I want her. Two of my fingers finally found their way inside of her as her eyes locked on to mine. At that moment I felt a sense of connection like I've never felt before. I felt as though she and I were becoming one, the power of my love was filling her up in a way that I never could, no matter how hard I tried.

My fingers continued to perform rhythmically inside of her as her hips glided against mine. Her body tensed underneath me, a tell-tale sign that I was performing well. "Emma…please…mmmm..please don't stop…I need you..", she moaned, closing her eyes and continuing to rock her hips back and forth against me. She was so wet and so tight, a fucking goddess. Regina really was a queen, but evil wasn't the right word to describe her. Hearing her say that she needed me set off a primal instinct inside of my mind. I let my tongue trace the outline of her nipple as I practically slammed my fingers into her for another few minutes. Her moans became louder and her breathing became faster and faster until I felt her muscles tighten and her fingers dig hard into my back. "Emma!", Regina gasped as an intense orgasm rocked through her body. I held my fingers still inside of her, letting her ride out the waves of pleasure that shook her and allowing it to intensify my own need.

"Oh my god Emma…..", the brunette panted. "You…." I could hear her voice in the back of my head but could think of nothing but the intense need to be satisfied. I climbed off of Regina and shifted uncomfortably, trying to get my pants off and give my body the attention it needed. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't cum within the next few minutes. All of my self-control was completely gone; the urge was overpowering me.

"Gina….please…..", I heard myself say. She looked up at me, probably surprised at the pet name I gave her. Her look turned into one of desire as she helped me lift my shirt up over my head. I felt her grab my hand and lead me into the doorway attached to her room.

"I don't know about you Emma, but I could really use a hot shower right now. It will make it easier to get clean after we're done getting dirty." She pulled on my hand harder and lead me into the fancy bathroom, slamming the door behind us.


End file.
